Love one another as I have loved you
John 15:9-17
9As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. 10If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.
12 ‘This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. 16You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. 17I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.
Acts 10:44-48
44 While Peter was still speaking, the Holy Spirit fell upon all who heard the word. 45The circumcised believers who had come with Peter were astounded that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on the Gentiles, 46for they heard them speaking in tongues and extolling God. Then Peter said, 47‘Can anyone withhold the water for baptizing these people who have received the Holy Spirit just as we have?’ 48So he ordered them to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Then they invited him to stay for several days. Jesus is saying to us, “I love you completely, perfectly, like no other love you have ever or could ever experience. My love is God’s love – unimaginably wonderful. Even if you think you don’t deserve it, it is there just the same.”
Love one another as I have loved you
Jesus said, “As the Father has loved me so I have loved you; abide in my love.” John 15:9
Jesus says “Abide in my love.”
What does it mean to “abide” in Jesus’ love?
Most modern translations of the bible say “remain in my love.”
I came across an interpretation by Nathan Nettleton that I really like. He wrote,
“Make yourself at home in my love.”
Many years ago, I married a Dutchman. It took us 2 years to save up enough money to go for a holiday to Holland so that his family and friends could meet his new wife. I was very excited to meet everyone too. Even though we visited Holland again in the following years I never forgot my first impressions. At that time it was the custom to visit everyone individually – no mass receptions allowed. As Holland is such a small country, it was possible to reach everyone fairly easily. We averaged 7-8 visits a day. That is a lot of coffee to drink and rich butter cake to eat.
What I remember most clearly is that everyone made me feel at home.
Gezelligheid
During that first visit I learned many Dutch words to supplement the few I had acquired from my Dutch lessons in Australia. One word was most important. It was gezelligheid. There is no English equivalent – maybe “cosiness” comes close. When things are gezellig, everyone feels at home.
At that time in Holland, in 1969, people dropped in on one another. It was always OK because the gezelligheid was the most important thing. It came before any other activity such as housework or homework or gardening. When we knocked on the door, people would stop what they were doing and put the coffee pot on.
On one occasion we called in on someone at about 9pm. “It’s too late”, I said. “It will be fine”, said Gerry and knocked on the door. However Jo was having an early night and was in bed. “Never mind.” Gerry said to Tonia, “We’ll come another time”. But no, Jo bellowed at us from upstairs that we were to come in and make ourselves at home. He got up and dressed. Tonia put on the coffee and we talked for two hours. Then Jo drove us home. No catching a bus for his honoured guests. Gezelligheid.
In some small way, this is what it is like to be loved by Jesus – warm, cosy, accepted, loved.
Jesus assures us that we are loved whether we deserve it or not – even if we are not perfect. This is the amazing grace of God – this undeserved love for us all.
Friendship with Jesus
But Jesus offers something more – something amazing. He says, “You are my friends.”
To be a friend of Jesus is an incredible thing. However, although Jesus’ love is a free gift, his friendship is something different.
As a child I was very shy and had great difficulty making friends. Even when other children made overtures of friendship to me, I was too afraid to respond. It took me a long time to learn how to do my part in making and keeping friends. I had to learn to talk to other children and enter into their games. Friendship by its very nature, is a relationship. It is not one sided. It is a two way deal. You can’t be friends with someone who turns away and doesn’t respond to you. Both parties must play their part if the relationship of friendship is to exist. So how can we be friends with Jesus?
Jesus says that all we have to do is to love him and love one another as he has loved us; then we are his friends.
This is far more difficult than it sounds. It is not enough to just love Jesus. We are also to love one another as he has loved us. It is easy to love some people but it is incredibly difficult to love others.
Jesus wants us to love people in our own families.
Often the hardest people to love are those who are closest to us. Family relationships can be very fraught. Living in close proximity can mean that sometimes we rub one another the wrong way.
Jesus wants us to love people in our church congregation
Church relationships can be fraught as well. How can you possibly love some people – you know the ones I mean. We get along with some and not with others. Surely this is the nature of community living.
Churches and families have a lot in common. One of the similarities is that we don’t choose one another. We are kind of stuck with one another. Families can be challenging but they are our families no matter what. We hope that family members are also friends. Churches are somewhat the same. The local church is not supposed to be primarily to be a friendship group. We are called by God to be the Body of Christ in our particular place. Sometimes we don’t get along and we may wonder how people like that could be allowed into any church. That was the situation described in the book of Acts 10:44-48 What were those Gentiles, those foreigners doing in the group? But Peter insisted that everyone, both Jew and Foreigner was to be included.
So it is with us – an unlikely bunch drawn together because we are the friends of Jesus. He calls us to love him and to love one another – which is a big ask – because some people are easy to love and some just aren’t.
How do we cope with this difficult task?
First Jesus helps us. As we let Jesus into our lives, as we make ourselves at home in his love, then little by little loving other human beings becomes possible.
Second let’s be clear about the nature of this love because there are different kinds of love. In Greek, the language of the New Testament, agape is the word used for a special kind of love, and it is this love that Jesus is talking about.
Agape is the kind of love that, with Christ’s help, makes it possible for us to love one another, even if the other person is impossibly difficult.
Agape is the kind of love or aspect of love, that doesn’t have anything to do with feelings or emotions. It is about caring what happens to the other person. It is about wanting the best for that person. The other kinds of love (e.g. friendship or romantic love) depend on feelings to a large extent, and feelings are affected by all kinds of circumstances. But agape is stronger than this. It is a deliberate decision of the will to care about the other person’s highest good.
Agape does not come automatically. It has to be worked at. It requires effort to think about the other person and want what is best for them, no matter how they are treating you or how irritating they are. It is difficult and we often fail when we decide to give up disliking others or rejecting them. But Jesus is with us, by our side, encouraging us on this journey of agape.
Jesus says. I love you. I want you to have a special relationship with me – a relationship of warm loving friendship. Make yourself at home in my love. Enjoy the gezelligheid.
“And this is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” John 15:12
REFERENCES
Bible references from New Revised Standard Version.
Nathan Nettleton. Love: Make Yourself at Home in it, A sermon on John 15:9-17 by Nathan Nettleton, 21 May 2006 http://laughingbird.net/SermonTexts/0374.html
