NB: These ideas apply not just to the Uniting Church but to the formal meetings of any denomination.

Do’s for the Chairperson

1. Remember you are not the boss. You are the facilitator who enables everyone (not just the dominant people) to come to group decisions.  Note that Jesus washed the disciples’ feet and instructed them to do the same. Servant leadership is the take home message here.
2. Make sure to explain the meeting procedures and issues to new members so that they can quickly begin to participate. They need to be encouraged to make their unique contribution.
3. After a warm welcome, begin the meeting with a significant devotion – not just something you grabbed off the shelf as you left home. Punctuate the meeting with times of prayer during difficult debates. Remember the Holy Spirit waits for an invitation to enter the meeting and will create a good atmosphere for work.
4. Keep the Christian values of the group front and centre. Do not be shy about reminding people of the values of agape¹ love, fairness, and justice. Members do not have to like one another but they really need to listen respectfully to each another and not just listen to rebut what is being said.
5. When necessary, remind the group that they are there to provide resources so that the Mission of the church can proceed in an orderly way. They are not there to boss everyone around.
6. In times of conflict, especially if things get nasty and personal, pause the proceedings and note everyone’s feelings. Say, “We are all feeling very strongly about this” or “This is a difficult and upsetting issue”.  Restate the group’s Christian values.  Pray together.  At a suitable time, perhaps at another meeting, demonstrate how to give negative feedback to one another in tense situations.  I favour the “pat, pat, but, but” method.  Using non-emotive language, state two positive things followed by two things that are giving you trouble. Other conflict management techniques are widely available in the literature. Learn how use one that suits you.
7. Make sure that UCA policies and procedures are followed. Also make sure that you know what they are.
8. Sit everyone in a circle if at all possible. Just like King Arthur’s Knights of the Round Table, circles are democratic and offer the best chance of everyone getting a word in.
9. Keep your eyes moving around the circle to note who would like to speak but can’t get a word in. Their body language and facial expressions, however fleeting, will indicate this.  Say, “Tom/Mary do you have any thoughts about this issue?”  Don’t ask a shy person to speak unless they have given a body language clue. They may have no ideas at all and drawing attention to them can be humiliating.  If in doubt say, “Does anyone have anything else to add?” and look at them.
10. If the committee members are impossible to work with, consider encouraging more reasonable people in the congregation to stand for office.
11. Finally, but most importantly, read the Manual for Meetings. It’s a rare person who enjoys reading a manual but this one is worth the trouble. The Manual is available here.  It is an excellent instruction manual on consensus decision making which gives everyone a say, and minimises conflict if correctly used. It also portrays an ideal situation where everyone behaves themselves so, it is a worthwhile goal to strive for.

Don’ts for the Chairperson

1. Don’t make Captains Calls unless absolutely unavoidable. Making too many decisions on your own, outside of the meeting, leaves you open to accusations of manipulation.  It is tempting to get your own way in this manner but it is not your role.
2. Don’t move the meeting along too quickly just to get finished on time. The loud voices will be heard but there may not have been time for others to digest what is being said and make their contribution. Effectiveness trumps efficiency in church meetings.  Otherwise, decisions are made that the congregation will either ignore or become annoyed about. Also, you miss out on the possible significant contributions from the quieter members of the group.
3. Don’t regularly put at the bottom of the agenda, items that you disagree with, so that there is never time to discuss them. Items not discussed on an agenda need to be high up on the next one.
4. Don’t allow the discussion to keep repeating the same points over and over. If this starts to happen, summarise where the group is up to in its thinking, then move the discussion along.
5. Don’t take sides when conflict arises. Use conflict resolution techniques to help the group come to a sensible decision.

I would love to hear your ideas about chairing church meetings.  Please contact me through my enquiry form here.

Elizabeth Vreugdenhil

END NOTES

1. Agape love means having in mind the highest good of the other person whether you like them of not.

Image credit: Miniature Queen Anne Chair – Replicator 2 – 3D-printed at 0,1 mm-layer v01 by Creative Tools

For further reading on meetings, see:

Church Meetings Part 1 – Their role in church life (love ’em or hate ’em, we have to have them, but how do we survive them?

Church Meetings Part 2 – How to get formal and informal groups working cooperatively

Church Meetings Part 3 – How the Holy Spirit Changes Everything or my unlikely love affair with the Manual for Meetings 

CHURCH MEETINGS Part 4 – Potency: Why some meetings get stuff done and others don’t